Your Bat/Bar Mitzfah: Reviewed 12 Years Later
I went to a college where a only small percentage of people could relate to this. I think that’s why I opted for an early graduation.
I still can’t believe my friend Merav didn’t give me a candle to light, considering whom she did give a candle to.
J. Edwick
Sect: Reform
Location: Chatsworth Equestrian Center
Theme: Horseback riding
Lowlight: the entire 7th grade figuring out that I was wearing a padded bra.
Highlight: nice candles, scented oil, SWAG
* * *
M. Rothman
Sect: Reform
Location: Marriot, Woodland Hills
Theme: Shopping
Highlight: keepsake credit cards that had our name and seating placement. I was seated at the ‘Wet Seal’ Table
Lowlight: Ryan threatening never to speak to me again unless I gave him a handjay in the bathroom
* * *
E. Woods
Sect: Conservative
Location: Temple Aliyah
Theme: Musicals. (I was seated at “Guys and Dolls”)
Highlight: Flirting with your insanely hot older brother who drove a mustang.
Lowlight: Not getting a shout out during your candle lighting ceremony.
* * *
B. Haft
Sect: Reform
Location: Calabassas Country Club
Theme: Punk Rock. I was seated at ‘CRASS TABLE’
Highlight: Being allowed to smoke cigarettes in front of the adults.
Lowlight:There were many high school girls there. They wore lots of eye make up and were unquestionably super bad ass shikas.
* * *
A. Newman
Sect: Conservative
Location: Service at the Temple, Party was at YANKEE DOODLES SPORTS BAR
Theme: McDonalds (she was photoshopped into pictures of her sliding down the golden arches)
Highlight: Codified my reputation as a MUST HAVE guest to the rest of the B-Mitzfahs
Lowlight: Seeing my best friend’s mom work her day shift as a cocktail waitress at the bar we were partying in.
