A million years ago, before Sarah Palin and “30 Rock,” a friend told me that he liked to think that it was offbeat to have a crush on Tina Fey but that he knew deep down that it wasn’t an original crush. It’s the same for me with Ira Glass. Not only is he married, too old and out of my league, but it doesn’t even make me unique.
(via fuckyeahiraglass)
Dear fuckyeahiraglass moderator,
Please update more often.
Thanks,
Grace
People seem to be of two minds about toilet paper:
“I’m using it on my butt, so I don’t care if it’s soft and expensive.”
Or
“I’m using it on my butt, so it better be soft and expensive.”
Holy SHIT that’s creepy & disgusting. BE AFRAID. BE VERY AFRAID. Don’t worry, guidos…this is not the NEW Jersey shore, but rather a small coastal island near England. Your orange tans will glow another day.
How do you know my people so well???
Myke sprints to the finish of his first road race, where he took third in his category. -Mary Vale
Reblogged for Myke’s awesomeness. I’m awed by anyone who races on a bike. If I were on “Made,” that’s what I would be made into, and there would be a lot of tears. I had to indentify him by the bike shop kit.
I went to a college where a only small percentage of people could relate to this. I think that’s why I opted for an early graduation.
I still can’t believe my friend Merav didn’t give me a candle to light, considering whom she did give a candle to.
J. Edwick
Sect: Reform
Location: Chatsworth Equestrian Center
Theme: Horseback riding
Lowlight: the entire 7th grade figuring out that I was wearing a padded bra.
Highlight: nice candles, scented oil, SWAG
* * *
M. Rothman
Sect: Reform
Location: Marriot, Woodland Hills
Theme: Shopping
Highlight: keepsake credit cards that had our name and seating placement. I was seated at the ‘Wet Seal’ Table
Lowlight: Ryan threatening never to speak to me again unless I gave him a handjay in the bathroom
* * *
E. Woods
Sect: Conservative
Location: Temple Aliyah
Theme: Musicals. (I was seated at “Guys and Dolls”)
Highlight: Flirting with your insanely hot older brother who drove a mustang.
Lowlight: Not getting a shout out during your candle lighting ceremony.
* * *
B. Haft
Sect: Reform
Location: Calabassas Country Club
Theme: Punk Rock. I was seated at ‘CRASS TABLE’
Highlight: Being allowed to smoke cigarettes in front of the adults.
Lowlight:There were many high school girls there. They wore lots of eye make up and were unquestionably super bad ass shikas.
* * *
A. Newman
Sect: Conservative
Location: Service at the Temple, Party was at YANKEE DOODLES SPORTS BAR
Theme: McDonalds (she was photoshopped into pictures of her sliding down the golden arches)
Highlight: Codified my reputation as a MUST HAVE guest to the rest of the B-Mitzfahs
Lowlight: Seeing my best friend’s mom work her day shift as a cocktail waitress at the bar we were partying in.
What seemed a promising turn in their relationship was dashed when he began introducing her to his friends as his godsister. “Oh, he does not think of me as a potential dating person,” she recalled thinking.
Ew.
I’m going to read this entire blog the next time I’ve got a sick day. It gives me seriously itchy feet.
Are they riding a recumbant bike?
I’m 29 now, and until I turn 30, I’ll take a picture of one person every day and have them* tell me about their most-memorable birthday. I’ll post on my shiny new blog, Hello, Birthday.
*I am totally aware that my pronoun should be singular, but I couldn’t do it gracefully.
